this is how the good english begins....
Here's the thing. We all spend our lives searching for those people who make us smile, who are there for us no matter what. These are the people we consider to be friends. I think I have some pretty great friends; they are fun to be around and they make me laugh, but thats not the important thing. They understand me, they know how I feel.. they get me. Its really hard to find some one to connect with on that type of level, and I'm happy to have these people in my life. All of these people are those i know from school. They are goal oriented, they are smart, but they know how to be normal teenagers, and how to be amazing friends. It's like, when i'm with them, i'm the person i want to be. I dont know how to explain it, but i feel closer to them than i do to anyone else.
But of course, no friendship is without problems. Mine?...my family. Its so hard now that summers here and schools out, to see them. Everytime i want to hang out with them, the rents give me a hard time. They say that friendships may falter, but family is forever. I agree, family is forever. But as much as i love my family, i need my friends. Being with them is the first time where i actually feel like something is going right. Now im not saying everything is perfect, i'm sure that the other billions of people i know nothing about in the world could occupy just as big a space in my heart. But in all reality, if i could choose who i wanted to be around everyday, it would be my friends. As much as i love my family, sometimes its so hard. We have totally different views.. sometimes different morals.. i feel like i have a totally different view of the whole world, and its like, im not meant to live in this sleepy little place forever. I'm meant to have a great future, and i know that family will be a part of it, but they arent going to be the people who get me there. They will always be a part of me, but now its time for me to choose who i want to be, and if everything doesnt go perfectly, thats okay. As long as I let myself get out there and find the world and how i fit into it, it'll be okay.
I just wish the people who are supposed to be the closest to me would understand this. I'm sorry, but its not all about family. Think about it like this.. you can't choose your family. They are who you've been assigned to, and you cant change that. But your friends, you can pick them. And im a little sick of "my assignment" trying to choose them. I wish they would just let me be who i want to be. If i ever do become who i want to be, i hope they will understand that they were important, but it was the world, and what it taught me that made a difference. ---- <3
thanks to mr sham =D
Labels: chikachikapatapon
